Today, the day after my daughters birthday and the President trump inauguration I sit in Starbucks downtown Campbell. Stopping to type in a blog is difficult. I just like to live, travel fluidly through the moments and go with the flow. But, taking the time to stop and reflect on where I am at is a huge challenge. I am willing to try. Why? I love challenges. Life to me is worth living with challenges. I also realize that without stopping to reflect then I avoid really being in the present moment and learning something that maybe I was missing. I had dinner with my daughter last night. The grandparents took her, dominated the conversation and created an impossible attempt to have real true communications with Alex. They were talking behind my back as I saw Alex signal to Jeannette the finger over the lip single to be quiet as I walked up. I left the dinner and left behind much more. I have sacrificed everything for my daughter. I have to stop. I have to take care of myself. The battle is not worth fighting any longer. I am ready to let the grandparents take Alex away. Alex and I realize that the drama they cause is not worth fighting. I think this battle has already been lost. Alex chooses to live with the grandparents even after spending months in the luxury apartment. Alex does not know how to live any other way but under the control of Jeannette and Dick. I have lost myself in the battle. I am done fighting a losing battle.
The luxury apartment was not worth the price as Alex decided to betray me and lie. I moved out of the apartment and now I am temporarily in my car. I just tinted the windows as dark as possible and have to go pick it up.
I am ready to start my life again. I have given up so much and Alex at the end just hates me. Literally she said she didn't care if I died. I hope that someday she can be free to be honest and say the truth for which I know she knows deep in her heart.
Now, I face all the possibilities of my happiness. The future looks so bright.
My new puppy, Bear is a Multipoo and is absolutely the best decision I have ever made. I look forward to the next 15 years with my new companion and all the adventures we have in our future. Well, the car is ready so I will begin my 2.5 mile trek back to the shop. Until my next post...happy adventures!!!!
It sounds like you have some real deep issues to contend with there. Stay strong and trust that life will lead you in the direction you were meant to go. Human relationships are tough; we have to keep on working at them all the time. On the bright side, the dog sounds like a real sweetie.
ReplyDeleteArlen Greenfield @ Clean Get Away